I'm posting this here because I feel this might be the most appropriate section for this. The quicker your mom knows the better. So in the middle of the night, I did a Matrix-style crawl across the room, grabbed it and started to go downstairs. That night my dad decided to drive my mother to work he did this on occasion so it wasn't usual. Not an easy place to be and there are no clear directives on something like this.
I havent even told my friend but she can also see that something is worrying me badly. Later she talked to him a little and said they could only be friends. There are two paths that seem the most helpful. At some point I think you should tell your mother - unless she is a sloot, she realistically deserves to know - but just not right now. My story: My mother had cheated on my father when she worked the night shift at her job. I decided to confront him over the phone. Still never told my mom till about 10 years later when he upped and divorced her after 30+ years of marriage.
My father cheated on my mother too. Your Mom knows your dad is cheating and he is a cheater. Or they may have an understanding in which you were not aware of. It takes time for you to trust your dad again. But you can't get involved without taking a side it's pretty much impossible The thing to understand, and I think a lot of us see this as we get older and our parents are either more open or things just happen is that your parents aren't perfect and they make the same mistakes and lapses of judgement that a lot of us do. Would a divorce mean an incredible hardship for her? While I am putting the answer together, in the back of my mind I am saying, if I were your age, what would I do? I went four months without talking to my mother.
And with out a doubt I new I had to tell her, but didnt know how. Found out that because of the way he had arranged the finances, she wasn't going to get much they had a comfortable lifestyle. When my mother was sleeping he almost killed her, so I took his computer and threw it out the window. I walked in on my dad doing things on the couch with a lady that works for him. I had to take his word for it.
But this devastation can be fertile ground for your own maturation. This whole situation made me livid. They both need a lot of support in order to put their relationship back together again. But, to truly heal and recover, you need in-person support. I was on cloud nine, thinking that the problem has finally gone away. Fast forward 3 months ahead, I distinctly remember my mum getting wind of his behavior too.
Dad's birthday Another six months passed, with everything bubbling away in my head. I always recommend reading books to help you cope with problems, because I believe we can learn so much from other people! Furthermore, he promised me he would never cheat on her again and asked me not to tell her. I don't have any great advice for you, just hugs! One of the issues here is that your mom has become someone you cannot trust sharing your needs with. Subtly guiding him and Mom toward keeping the family together would be a gift to your family. When you are ready, confide in a trusted friend.
Besides, she's not the most forgiving person in the world so I know the marriage would end if she found out. I Know This Is Really Hard For You. She apparently already knows or suspects that your Dad is having an affair. I was tore up about it cause i knew how heartbroken my mother would be and how she didnt deserve it, so i called my sister to ask her if i was making the right choice by telling her she assured me it was the best she had to know the truth and she was right but the next day when i was gonna tell her my sister had told my dad either he told her or we would. If you do say something, you may open up a Pandora's Box of huge proportions. How could he do that to your mom? Whatever decision you make, make sure you stand by it sternly; no regrets. I would seek out a therapist click the find help tab above to begin talking about your experience and I would start keeping a journal of your thoughts, feelings, and reactions.
I hat e him and told her if he ever came to our house, i'd taze him with my tazer. Get help in person The internet is a fabulous place to get information and support, especially for things as personal as dads cheating on moms. Whether or not she stays with your dad, she has a lot of healing to do. From my mum's accusations to my dad's fierce defensiveness, I remembered feeling hurt and angry about their actions. If you're still at school, college or university, it's worth confiding in a teacher. I rang him and told him to stop - my sister got involved too.
Now don't think my mother is stupid for taking my dad back. There are a million reasons why things fall apart. You create an account and find your dad. Then I tiptoed out again and started to cry. Next time the 'other' party calls you say you have decided it is none of your business, you have done all you can and you don't want any more info. But first tell your father and tell him what you saw. Your mother and father should also think about a counsellor, but do not give up on him, do not treat him like he is a non-entity, he has a problem, seek help for him.
Obviously you can't count on your Dad or you wouldn't have this problem. The emotion is what would fuel your fire. Adults should never, ever tell children their problems. I also realize that you are angry with your Dad because of this, and that you want to protect your Mom, but, if she is smart enough to go on business trips, she will be smart enough to know how to handle this. Do not get in the middle, and do not let then put you in the middle.