Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button. I took my headlights out and put strobe lights in. Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once. They compiled some really great graffiti, and here it is: 'If you can piss this high, join the fire department. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire. A higher offer than I bid Nitrates. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. The farther away the future is, the better it looks. Take my advice — I'm not using it. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. A cat, by any other name, is still a sneaky little furball that barfs on the furniture. There are no winners in life…only survivors.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. How many of you believe in telekinesis? A letter carrier Recovery Room. But they are still hilarious and well worth a read, so check them out! During each traverse pass, Catch each animal seen. There are 16 unique one liners suppliers, mainly located in Asia. Children in the dark make accidents, but accidents in the dark make children. Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let him sleep. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.
An experiment in Artificial Stupidity. Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate. Some people think my friend George is weird because he has sideburns behind his ears. Plan to be spontaneous - tomorrow. Now when I'm not home and someone calls me up they hear a recording of a busy signal. A bus station is where a bus stops.
Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you. If anybody wants me, I'll be bonkers. I said, 'All right, I'll wait. I have an answering machine for my phone. True friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable.
In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting. For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier. Indecision is the key to flexibility. If only the good die young then what does that say about senior citizens? What you be after you be eight Artery.
If you laid all of the lawyers in the world, end to end, on the equator -- It would be a good idea to just leave them there. We are all part of the ultimate statistic — ten out of ten die. If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining. On the other hand, you have different fingers. What happens if you get scared half to death twice? Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
Just about the time when you think you can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends. I've been doing some extremely abstract paintings. Could you be arrested for selling 'illegal-sized' paper? A day without sunshine is like, night. बेवजह बिछड़ तो गए हो तुम बस इतना बता दो की सुकून मिला या नहीं! If it ain't broke, fix it till it is. I got up the next day, now I can only stutter in Spanish.
She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind. I used to think that the whole world was against me. Always try to be modest, and be proud of it! The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with. Key to failure is trying to please everybody Opportunities don't happen, you create them If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough Life is lived - out side comfort zone Pain is temporary. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
She thought a quarterback was a refund. Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're a jerk You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you! Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks 28. Steven Wright on The Big picture: A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. If you go to sleep with a itching ass you will wake up with a stinking finger … 373. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? I don't have a solution, but I do admire the problem. I feel like that all the time. If you gave her a penny for her thoughts, you would get change back.