But it won me some big brownie points. Requests for specific medical advice or diagnosis are not permitted in the subreddit because even medical professionals will not diagnose without examining the actual symptoms of a person actually present in front of them. One should also have her full permission to do the ancient and honorable thing: ask for her hand. Please do not link to your blog, other active Reddit threads, or Facebook. I know my mother got married at 17 and was still living at home. The few moments I had with him didn't seem opportune. I really think it depends on the parents.
Jim - Well I'm not the on you gotta ask. If not, well, I suppose the phone is the next best thing. Having family involved, especially the parents is rewarding for some; especially those who are close to their family. Perhaps you're 40 years old, own a home and feel silly asking for permission in a formal kind of way. If possible, set up a meeting with her father and have the conversation in person. However, I did man up and tell her dad face to face myself. I know feminist hate it for obvious reasons, and I agree with them.
Firstly, don't ask him permission. It would not be impossible for me to fly there and ask permission but it would be very difficult. Does your girl want you to do that? My intent is to learn how to approach this situation and not on what I should be saying. Consider taking him out to dinner or going to a bar or coffee shop. It can be a better idea, to plan a meeting with both parents. I remember when I had the talk with my father-in-law; I was sweating bullets.
I drove 12 hours to have Christmas with my wife and her family. The point is to bring a little something to soften him up before you pop the question. Some of you may consider this an antiquated tradition, but both my and Ashley's families are quite traditional, so this was an important rite of passage. It's about the asking, not about how you ask for the permission. Or, depending on her relationship with her dad, she might not want you to ask him at all, but her stepfather or mother instead. Would asking them in a letter or over the phone be too impersonal? Whether you think of it as a trend, a tradition, or just a nod to the days of antiquity when women needed their father's approval to be passed from the family to a husband, there are some things you should know before broaching the subject with her father.
If you are having issues with another user, message the moderators to help you deal with it and do not fight in the comments. He ended up doing it by phone. This is any easy way to compliment him while pointing out the things you love about his daughter. Let him know that you take marriage very seriously and you are ready for the commitment. Though the romance of becoming husband and wife had reached that time, women were still largely under the control of their parents, so permission was required.
Asking is a way to show respect, not only to your future father-in-law, but also to your soon-to-be bride. Perhaps plan to do something that both you and her dad enjoy like fixing your potential fiancée's car or going fishing. Give him reasons to believe that you are able to take care of her. Is it a sweet way to honor and or an antiquated practice that should be phased out? Let her parents know how serious you are about their daughter and about marriage in general. The key is to be open about it. As far as what to say, that's really up to you.
Have you and your partner discussed your views on marriage? Then her dad made a few weird comments which were pretty out of character. If she is on board, speak with her about approaching her father. Especially if you know them well enough to know that they wouldn''t take offense. If they know how much you love their daughter and they know you are a good guy, I don''t think you have a thing to be worried about. For some practical, concrete tips on how to have this important conversation, go to the next page. I can understand the tradition thing, but asking her father or mother for permission denotes some type of ownership on the parents part. I want to show him that I'm a good man and will take care of her like he has.
If someone is breaking one of our rules report the comment, so our moderators can remove it. We have two more tips to help you out when popping the question to her father…. Don't simple show up at his office or home; this is impolite. This will make you both feel a little more comfortable. If I had, I never would have done that. We were already living together.
You can either address those points right then and there, or you can work toward alleviating them over time, before you propose. Will you convert to her religion? He raised her, so you are really complimenting him at the same time. Read on for links to more tips on engagement, relationships and marriage. Kind of paid to ask, rather than go out and buy an inferior ring and be stubborn about it. Be as honest about your intentions of taking care of his daughter as possible. Informative Subreddits: Non-serious Subreddits: Though I have been lurking on this subreddit for a while, I've never really posted here. Moderaters have discretion to remove comments as needed.
You can ask her parents at the same time, or if they are separated, ask her primary caregiver first. Does she really want to marry you? I knew right then that no matter how far or how uncomfortable he was he would have asked my father- and distance, convenience or time wouldn''t have mattered. I did it face to face during Thanksgiving a couple years back. You want to have the asking father for permission conversation in a comfortable and more relaxed environment to help relieve your nerves. When you have a relationship established with the parents, it will make you feel less stressful and add more success because you have gained a much better idea of how to approach him to have this conversation. Back then, the prospective groom would ask the bride's father for permission to marry her, at which point he would hand the father a symbolic coin.