He choose no children, that is why his first wife had left him. I am now married with a 4yr old son and happy for 6yrs. Our situation is pretty hopeless and unlikely to end with us together as a full time couple. I had went a couple of weeks without talking to my ex, and after a couple of days I started to feel a bit better, my life began to come back into focus and able to get on with my real life with my wife. But think about the situation… I and my ex meet up someday forgetting the pain we both have gone through. I was kind and compassionate in my words, not mean spirited and she was as well. I am embarrassed to say I dealt with this situation badly by drinking too much and trying to hang on to him, which he allowed, until his new girlfriend returned from wherever she was.
Your litmus of Leaving It Alone if an old flame only looks better today is a great one. I hope things get better and you find some peace. Things will already be awkward, don't make it worse by giving him the upper hand in thinking you still are heartbroken over him. He is in a marriage in which he has never been faithful. As I fly home to my wife, I have overwhelming feelings of guilt that I must deal with alone. She must have loved you as much as you loved her but ambition or stupidity led you two to a different path. Either way, these ways to deal with an old flame will give you that confidence boost that it's okay to not always be the nice girl when it comes to dealing with an ex fling.
Hooking up with old flames can work it if they are your soulmate. At this time, the current spouse is hurt by the infidelity as well as the lies and denial. The raw flood of emotion that engulfed us made no rational sense whatsoever, but there it was. We have known each other now for nearly 60 years, and never at any time had sex. After having the baby I got to take leave from my job…then he wanted me to stay home until the baby was old enough to go to a day care.
When approached for intimacy there is always a problem. Our love affair has left us a billion miles apart emotionally, she has moved on and I am stuck lost where she left me. She is also married with a 9yr old son and 4yr old daugther and married for 11. I have 2 children as well and can say that a happy home doesn't equal true love. And I will not ever contact her again. I scolded him for it and asked him to think about what he is doing and the potential for damage to my husband or my marriage.
This raises a huge red flag with me. Actually I had no idea what happened to her after college. You can imagine the storybook romance that your life would be with this person. Now the situation is that I cannot live with guilt and the loss of my first love. Since she had my cellphone she called me at bedtime when I was away from home in a hotel on a course: I was happy to chat, and we were flirty but circumspect just. This put some distance between us and we ended up marrying other people.
At first my wife who has been married to me for over 45 years was jealous, but after a short while said she was fine with us emailing. She truly was the love of my life but we parted due to distance and ambitions. I trained as a server, then upped my way to bartender, then upped my way to management and did it all. I have worked for many years which was a help with substituting his income as he is self employed. He texted on New Year's and I didn't respond.
When we saw each other again after all that time it was as if it was yesterday. He is the one love I cannot let go of. My husband has been unfaithful three times in the marriage at six year intervals. Nor do I think he would contact me. I believe there are chances of reuniting with this most special person, other than my children and grandchildren will happen. Recently he totally crossed the line and wrote some extremely graphic sexual things. In 2012 I was diagnosed with colorectal cancer which turned into metastatic stage 4 cancer.
If you have any feelings for her either leave your wife or leave her alone. Your Integrity seems to be in question. I suppose on some abstract level there might be a risk that an old flame might rekindle a romance but in practice not. But it is very much about an extremely insecure man. Looking at this relationship from an outside perspective, it makes no sense at all, but for those concerned it is very real indeed. A male reader, anonymous, writes 5 April 2006 : I recommend reading Dr. Vasopressin is such a strong bond in some animals, that even a little exposure will cause monogamy for life.